Practical encouragement based on the biblical principles of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 for today's woman
Mentoring Moments for Christian Women
Family
The "Talk"
Molly Evert We have chosen not to wait until our children come to a certain age before telling them about the facts of life. To us, it seemed natural to share age appropriate information with them all along the way, just as we would on any other topic. There are often natural opportunities to talk about the facts of life.
Pregnancy We have had four children, so all but the youngest has learned how babies are made while Mommy was pregnant. The older ones have heard it more than once, but each time with more specific detail. We love the book A Child is Born by Lennart Nilsson for this kind of discussion. This book is not written from a Christian perspective, per se, but its breathtaking photographs from inside the womb make it a must for all home libraries in my opinion. This book allows children--and adults--to see photos of sperm traveling toward an egg, of the moment of implantation, and of all the stages along the way. We did not show our children the graphic birth photos, but the photos of how implantation occurs were very instructive. The book gave many opportunities to talk about the sanctity of human life. Another book we have used with our very young children is Usborne's How are Babies Made by Alastair Smith. This book is geared toward 3 to 6 year-olds with colorful pictures and age-appropriate text.
Nature Television We have had many good family discussions about the facts of life while watching nature programming on television. Whether the narration is about mating or birth, or even artificial insemination of livestock, we will often ask, "Do you know what that means? Do you understand what they are talking about?" When we are with our children as a group, we gear a discussion like this toward the youngest, so as not to give too much detail to them. We can follow up later with older children if we sense that more needs to be said.
Bible Reading Our family Bible reading has prompted these discussions on numerous occasions. Our children want to know what the Bible means when it says, "Mary was a virgin." When we read "Thou shalt not commit adultery" or "Abraham and Ishmael were both circumcised," they have questions. This does not mean that we go into explicit detail on every topic, but we also don't want to shy away from their natural questions, as if they should be embarrassed to ask. As we are reading through the Bible, we occasionally skip passages that we feel would be too much information for them, such as when Lot committed incest with his daughters.
Books Not every topic will come up in a natural setting. Some topics, such as how a young person's body begins changing, are better introduced through books. We have used a couple of books from the Learning About Sex (can be purchased as a set or by individual books--see below for description) series for this purpose. Our 11-year-old son read one or two chapters a week from this short book, and then met with my husband to discuss the material.
Discussion * Use age-appropriate language. For our youngest children, we have spoken rather euphemistically, such as "God gave mommy and daddy a baby when they shared a special kind of hug." For older children, we have been more explicit. Our children watch very little television and they are homeschooled so I have found that their exposure to these topics is pretty naive for their age, relative to the rest of the culture. They all play sports, and I know that they will hear about these things from other children. We want their first exposures to this topic to come from us, rather than from their peers. * Always include morality. It is not enough to merely teach our children the mechanics. When we pass on the facts of life, let us also share the facts of the Christian life. We want our children to grow up with a commitment to purity in thought and deed, to marriage, and to sanctity of life. * To turn that on its head, if we are talking about values, we sometimes bring up specific s*xual morality issues in that context. For example, recently we were talking about Adam and Eve's sin. They saw that the fruit would make them wise, and they wanted that knowledge. The knowledge they gained, however, was knowledge God wanted to protect them from. Adam was happy and unashamed before he had the knowledge of good and evil. We told the boys they might find themselves in a situation some time when another kid might try to show them inappropriate photographs. To look at those photos is just like reaching out and taking fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. It would bring shame, and it is a deed that cannot be undone. That knowledge will always be there, so they need to protect their eyes and their minds. I would much rather have a discussion like that with my 8 year-old son, while studying the Bible together, than to see him exposed to a snare because I didn't want to bring up an uncomfortable topic. * We have also talked about marriage with our boys from a very early age. We want them to look forward to marriage. We talk with them (even when they are as young as 6 years-old) about the qualities to look for in a godly wife, about faithfulness and purity.
A seven-book series, made up of both hard- and softcovers designed to aid parents in teaching their children about human sexuality from a Christian perspective. Each book directed at a specific age group, offering clear explanations on questions that kids most often ask their parents, such as "Where do babies come from?". As children get older, the books continue with more complicated questions that teenagers may struggle with regarding their ongoing growth process, culminating in a final book for adults regarding the Creator's perspective on sex.
The Value of Motherhood
A
mother's days are filled with a myriad of wearisome little tasks that
don't seem to add up to much. Where can a mother find her significance
and identity during this season of her life? In this uplifting podcast
on The Value of Motherhood, Molly Evert shares her testimony of how the
Lord changed her from a woman set on planning her own happiness out in
the world into one who is content to serve at home. 30 minutes in
length. For more from Molly, visit her blog at www.counterculturalmom.blogspot.com
Kissed the Girls and Made them Cry
Kellie Renfroe Written for teen girls and their moms, Lisa Bevere's book Kissed the Girls and Made them Cry (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 194 pages) takes a transparent look at promiscuity and how the bondage it imposes can only be broken by freedom in Christ. The book uniquely addresses both the teenager and the mothers who may have made wrong choices as teens themselves. Bevere states in the book, "... this book is for daughters in waiting. It is for mothers to remember. It is for every fallen one who longs to be lifted. And it is for those who've kept themselves, to know and fully realize their reward and to be encouraged to remain strong. This book is a letter from a generation of mothers and mentors who have known regret, to the daughters of this generation that they might be kept from our failures, and inherit the promises and not the pain. It is a tool for mothers who feel they can't tell their daughters no because years ago they themselves said yes." A Bible study is also available to go along with the book. It would be a good class for moms and young women.
The sibling relationship should be a blessing and bring glory to God. In this very practical message, Molly Evert shares ways that parents can either help or hinder the sibling relationship. For more from Molly, visit her blog at http://counterculturalmom.blogspot.com
MMCW is pleased to announce our first Bible study taught by Molly Evert. Proverbs 21: God's Idea of a Godly Woman includes a free study guide to download to follow along with the podcast. This encouraging Bible study takes a look at the work, family life, sacrifices, and rewards of the Proverbs 31 woman. Soul Food.
New Contentment Podcast
Paul taught that "godliness with contentment is great gain." Yet, Christian women often struggle to be content. In this challenging and encouraging podcast, Molly Evert shares about her journey to contentment in several areas which women will identify with, including marriage, children, homemaking, body image and finances. Contentment
Visit Our Blogs
Visit MMCW's new Mentoring Moments Chat blog to share your ideas, ask questions, or pass along a recipe. Also, Molly Evert's blog is one you will appreciate as a mom.
The Child's Story Bible Perfect for Family Reading
Molly Evert I love reading The Child's Story Bible by Catherine Vos to our children. It is captivating enough to interest our 3 year-old, but rich and meaty enough for our 11 year-old. Points of doctrine are explained right in the text in the same conversational style that makes the entire book a pleasure to read. Originally published in 1934, it is a must-have classic for every family's bookshelf. I am frequently disappointed by children's Bibles, which water down the text to try and appeal to young children and rely frequently on cartoonish pictures. This story Bible is refreshingly different from the norm. It does not have many pictures at all, and the text is simple and straightforward, but true to the biblical narrative. We use this Bible primarily for our family devotions, or for our oldest child's personal quiet time.
"In everything set them an example by doing what is good." Titus 2:7 NIV
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New Movie -- Fireproof
Team Hoyt
Releasing Our Children to God
Kathy Renfro
While we served as foster parents, our theme verse was “To whom much has been given, much will be required.” Luke 12:48
When our children would ask, “Why do we have to share our home?” I would reply with that verse.
One child we took in was a preemie baby born 12 weeks early. She had no visitors the entire time she was in the hospital. We brought this fragile soul home with more monitors and lights than I had ever seen. She was highly susceptible to infection and already at risk both physically and emotionally. We rallied around her and closed off from the rest of the world to prevent any viruses from entering our home. Two weeks after taking in baby “Destiny,” we received a call from her social worker stating that they were moving her to another home—one closer to their agency to help make visitation more convenient. Admittedly, I was angry. I couldn’t believe a social worker could treat this child—this precious child—like a possession or a toy to be bounced around from one home to another. I sat down with our children (ages 4 and 2) and explained that she would be leaving the next day.
The next morning her social worker arrived. We kissed Destiny good-bye and watched as she was placed into the car. Then, as they drove down the driveway, our sweet son went running after the car screaming, “No, mommy! Don’t let them take her away!” I watched in horror as he fell to the ground sobbing. All I could do was hold him and wonder why I was putting our children through this pain.
Walking into the house, I did what any good Christian would do—I had my own screaming session with God. Fighting indignation, I shouted to the Lord of the universe, “Why? We’ve done what you’ve asked us to do! We put our lives into turmoil, sacrificed so that other children could have a home. You can do what you want with me, but leave our children alone! Their hearts can’t take this kind of hurt!
Then in that still small voice that belongs to God alone, he whispered, “Kathy, don’t you know that I have made your children and that I alone am enough to sustain them? Do what’s required of you, and leave the details to Me.”
I must confess that I didn’t trust that voice. Was it really God, or was it just something in my head? I realized the truth of the message, regardless of the source, and decided to trust God at His word. Less than a week later, we received a phone call from our social worker about another baby needing a home. I told her, “No way. My kids have been through enough. We need a rest.” She responded, “Just pray about it. I know you guys pray about these things.”
We agreed and stopped by the agency to pick up a flyer about the baby. While reading the flyer to my husband, our son piped in from the back seat, “Who’s that, Mom?” I replied, “Oh, just some little baby who needs a home.” He answered, “We could give her a home!” I reminded him of what had just taken place the past week and said, “What if it’s just like baby Destiny? What if she comes for just a short time and then leaves? Wouldn’t that be hard?”
His precious answer stays with me to this day: “Well, we could share our home for a little while, couldn’t we?” And there it was—that still small voice of God saying, “Just do what I’ve called you to do and I will take care of the rest!”
I learned on that day to release my children—to truly release them into the hands of a loving Father who will not let anything touch them that has not first passed through His hands. I can’t protect them from all of life’s hurts and troubles. But, when trouble and pain comes their way, He will be right beside them—taking the journey with them.
Mission Field In My Own Backyard
Page Hughes
As the last days of school arrived and our children filled the house for another fun summer, I approached the days with mixed emotions. I love the less structured days and the joy of spending time with my children. But, I also wrestled with the feeling of frustration knowing the neighborhood children would spend the days and nights hanging out in our home. For me that meant extra clean-up, more responsibility, feeding what some days feels like 5,000, and having a sweet spirit.
I came to God with a whiny attitude, He begin to adjust my attitude. I was reading Kay Warren's book Dangerous Surrender where she asked her readers to say yes to God and let God tell you what your mission will be. Kay's mission was working with people with AIDS. God kept telling me my mission field was in my home.
I went to work with a church in Mexico this year. I just returned from Brazil to participate in a medical clinic where we have the opportunity to share our faith. But, my greatest mission field is in my own backyard. Literally. The children in my neighborhood need to see what a godly wife and mom looks like. They need to have a safe place to play and hang out. The first week one young man said to me, "Do you guys really sit down to eat supper?" Just yesterday a friend of one our son's said, "I can't believe you talk to your parents like this. I could never talk to my parents about who I was dating."
One of my greatest struggles was the amount of money I spent on soda and snacks. God got my attention once again and asked, "How much are you spending to 'go and do missions?" Needless to say I quickly changed my heart and bought another package of cookies and store brand sodas. I am willing to spend huge amounts of money to travel abroad because my mind sees that as 'missions.' I struggled with seeing how feeding the neighborhood was a part of ministry. I sat down with my husband and talked about how much our mission budget for the summer would be and realized that feeding the multitude is just a part of ministering to them.
Kay Warren asked the reader to identify the needs around them. Then, ask God how He wants us to be involved in meeting them. As I looked around I knew the need for the children in my neighborhood and I knew God was asking me to be willing to meet them. How about you? Ask God to reveal to you the needs around you and how He wants you to be involved. You may just be on a seasonal assignment or yours may be more in depth. You may find, like me, that your mission field is closer than you think.
What I was doing serving the kids never changed, but my attitude did. If you are struggling with an attitude I challenge you to ask God to give you His perspective on it. You may be like me and just need to see it from His perspective.
Changing the Atmosphere
Kellie Renfroe
Beyond organization and scheduling is an often overlooked area when trying to a promote peaceful home--the home's spiritual atmosphere. The spiritual atmosphere of a home will determine peace more than any calendar and family guidelines. Often we focus energy on getting the house clean and in order (thinking it will bring calm to the chaos) without addressing the real issues such as the spiritual condition of our hearts.
Every day we get up we make a choice, the choice to put on happiness instead of heaviness. The choice of a joyful heart in place of a critical spirit. The choice to speak words of life instead of death over others. It sounds simple, because it is simple. The hard part is making the right choices when no one else in the family seems to want to join in.
If your home has tension, attitudes, a sense of unrest, or just not the level of peace you desire, change the atmosphere. How is this done? By prayer.
Pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal areas that are robbing your family of peace and for His direction on what to do. If you and your husband can begin praying about this together it will be tremendous. Give your husband quiet times of prayer daily too. As the leader and priest of the home, the time your husband spends in prayer will greatly affect the atmosphere of your home. If your husband is an unbeliever or you are single, seek the Lord on your own.
I often go room to room praying for the Lord's peace in our home. In the dining room, I pray over the chairs and ask the Lord to bless and pour out His love on each family member and visitor alike that will sit there. Pray for the Lord to protect your boundaries (property lines). Pray Psalm 91 and insert the names of those in your family in the appropriate places.
We're all human and we do get up on the wrong side of the bed from time to time. When the atmosphere in the home is not peaceful, stop right where you are and begin to pray. Pray for the Lord to change your home with His presence. To anoint you and your family with gladness, a cheerful heart, and a loving spirit. Continue praying until you sense a change in your spirit. Some ask, 'how long should I pray?' Pray until you feel in your spirit a release, a change, a lifting of the heaviness. Don't give up! Some other tips to changing the atmosphere:
* Play praise and worship music daily. In two rooms of my home uplifting music is played continuously. It puts a song in our hearts and promotes praise to the Lord.
* Write down and memorize scripture pertaining to joy, cheerfulness, happiness, and peace. Do the same for problem areas such as discontent, critical spirits, and ungodly speech. I have a spiral bound index card set with scriptures pertaining to cheerfulness. I set the cards on the kitchen counter, so throughout the day I am reminded to pray the Word.
* Walk in faith. Faith is knowing without seeing. If your children still yell and your spouse has a bad attitude, believe that God is able. Let the Lord begin with us ladies. Allow Him to bring His peace to our souls and begin to change the very atmosphere of our homes to glorify Him. It starts with you and me.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
~ Philippians 4:7
Young Writer's Series
Kellie Renfroe
Vicki Huffman, Vice President and Senior Editor of The Benchmark Group LLC
has announced the creation of a new line of books for teens. Of course,
many of you will recognize Vicki's name from here at Mentoring Moments
as the Editor of the Empty Nesters section of the web site.
"These books are amazingly well-written and have no offensive material
in them," Vicki shares. The new line of books begins with five fiction
and one non-fiction book. The writers are composed of one boy and five
girl authors.
If you would like to take a look at these books, click Young Writers Series to view their information.
Great Resource for Bible Studies
Beba Schlottmann
My husband, Brian, and I like Group Publishing's magazines, devotionals, and curriculum. Their material is always great and we recommend their studies to everyone. www.grouppublishing.com
An Honest Look at Anger
Do you struggle
with anger? Listen and be encouraged as Molly Evert shares candidly
about her struggles with anger as well as practical methods for gaining
victory through Christ in her newest podcast for MMCW. An Honest Look at Anger.
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