Practical encouragement based on the biblical principles of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 for today's woman
Mentoring Moments for Christian Women
Marriage
A Thankful Marriage
Stephanie Little
Thanksgiving is a special holiday filled with tradition, food, and fellowship. Many families audibly express thankfulness for blessings at the Thanksgiving table. If we could listen in on the average American family’s Thanksgiving conversation, I’m sure we’d hear about the blessings of freedom, the sacrifice of others, and the love of family and friends. As I thought about the many things for which I am truly thankful, my relationship with Jesus Christ is number one on my list. Second on my list is something that I’m afraid I don’t express often enough, and that is how grateful I am for my marriage and my husband. In a day when the very definition of traditional marriage is threatened and marriages are breaking down even in the church, I think it’s time we expressed our thankfulness for marriage and especially for our husbands. If you are married, start off the conversation around this year’s Thanksgiving table by letting your husband and (everyone else) know how thankful you are for him and for your marriage. I am sure that turkey you prepare will taste even better to him and you may get some unexpected help with the cleanup despite his favorite team playing on Thanksgiving evening! Just to get the thankfulness ball rolling, I asked friends to share their thoughts about their husband or marriage in general. As you read through these precious sentiments, it’s my prayer you’ll see your husband for what he truly is, a gift from God to you.
(I’m) thankful for his ability with cars, computers and electric ingenuity. Also for his help in cleaning the house and support while I worked and went to college.
Karen
I have a faithful husband who is hard working with good work ethics.
Dorothy
I've always known how different the personalities are of my husband and myself yet the most outstanding thing that has been so overwhelming to me in recent days is God's graciousness in walking through difficulties. Since I don't consider myself to be one to handle difficulties very well, I tend to lean on him more than I should yet he has never complained. He has always been there to help walk me through. In most recent days there have been times of weakness for him and God has grown me. As a result, I've seen him (my husband) depend on me to help walk him through. It is a balance that was missing and this helps me see how God has grown both of us.
Donna
I am thankful for my parent's commitment to stay together no matter what. They had a great marriage, but marriage always has difficult moments whether it be compromise in financial areas, wayward children or differences in where to live, etc. I always had the assurance and the security of knowing that my parents would NEVER divorce no matter what happened. They often told us that and also spoke those words to each other. They told us and each other that marriage is for life, a gift from God to be nurtured and protected. I always knew that if I heard them discussing or even arguing, that it was only that and not the dissolution of my family as I knew it. Now being married and knowing more of what it takes to be committed to someone for life, no matter what the circumstances are like, I am even more appreciative of my parent's wonderful 50+ year marriage. They always told us that marriage is hard work and now I know that it is, but it is worth it.
Kim
My husband is so thoughtful. He always puts me and the kids before himself. He is very unselfish.
Karen
My husband helps me a lot around the house. I'm thankful for that, and also he has no problem with me going to church.
Mona
Thankful for my husband who can make me laugh till I cry!
Elaine
I am thankful that the Lord has taught me about love as a verb or an action. It has encouraged me to go beyond my feelings at times by doing things out of obedience because it is RIGHT and consistent with the character of Jesus. The Lord always blesses these actions by softening my heart into one of gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity to be the one who can meet a need, and I am also highly aware of His power working through me. It now transfers to the way I mother my children and has transformed the attitudes in our home.
Kiki
The first thing that comes to mind is my husband's discipline of meeting the Lord on his knees first thing every morning and knowing he is praying for me and for our girls. Everyone in the house knows when daddy is reading and praying.
Stacey
I am thankful for a husband that is not only the love of my life, but also my best friend. We have a marriage full of passion and fun!
Miriam
There are so many things. First, this is a second marriage (of 46 years!) and he loves my (our) children and adores the grandchildren. Second, is that he is faithful and always there. Next to my Lord and Savior, his presence is always comforting and he is always there for me and the children and grandchildren. God worked a miracle in my very life in spite of me and I praise Him for it all.
Gloria
I guess I am most thankful for a husband who takes charge around the house. Being in school, I don't have a lot of time to cook and clean and help the kids with their homework. My husband really takes charge. He is the ultimate "Man Of The House."
I have so much more but I think this idea sums it up the best I can.
Laura
I guess the very first couple things that come to my mind is "great communication" and "commitment"....Not only are these two things absolutely essential but it truly is what I am thankful for in my marriage.....You cannot ever put a price tag on having these two things in a marriage....So thankful....
Misti
I am thankful for my husband being the spiritual leader in our family.
Rayna
I'm thankful that I have someone to protect me. I look at it like my husband is the umbrella of protection and even if I don't agree with a decision he is making for our family (we do discuss things together, so I'm not talking about him being authoritative), I trust completely that I need to be submissive to his answer.
A few years ago, when I went against a decision he made because my idea really seemed wiser, I came to see how I had stepped out of that umbrella of protection and the consequences of that decision were severe enough that I finally really get it. I understand and love that he is a protection for me.
Rhonda
I am thankful for a Christian husband that loves me the way God loves, and honors me.
Debbie
I’m thankful because he is my soft place to fall.
I’m thankful for a husband seeking a deeper relationship with the Lord.
Susan
I can't help you with marriage or even thoughts about my parent's marriage. What I can tell you is that I've been divorced over 20 years, and I think that what I will miss out on most is companionship in old age. I really miss the idea of growing old together with someone that God has chosen for me.
Valerie
Companionship
Natalie
Unconditional love - I know that no matter what happens in the course of the day we both love each other. Not out of obligation but a choice we continue to make over and over. It's a priceless gift that never grows old.
Misty
He keeps reminding me.....He is in it for the long haul.
Kim
Someone who is there to listen, care, share in the "big" moments of life.
Sonya
I am thankful for a faithful husband in marriage and who has shown his love for me in the almost 58 years of marriage by telling me often he loves me.
Sylvia
I am thankful in my marriage for the respect that my husband and I have for each other to see the other growth in every area and to give the support that each other needs to achieve it.
Paula
I am thankful for a husband that loves and serves our Lord Jesus Christ and loves and honors me, even in tough times.
Sue
I am thankful that we are still together after 17 years. Even though times can sometimes be rough I know that it is better to be together than not to be.
Rachel
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Thanksgiving Blessings
This month's issue introduces our newThanksgiving Blessing web pages in our Special Occasions section.
Palmer Family Thanksgivng is Loi's family recipes complete with a countdown planner to get a head start now.
A Thankful Heart includes ideas for meaningful family traditions and ways to bless others.
Thanksgiving Decorations shows how to put together simple low-cost centerpieces and ideas.
Praise Generously
"Your
praise can be excessive only if your words are insincere. Genuine,
heartfelt praise cannot be overdone. Besides, your mate gets plenty of
criticism and correction from others and from himself to offset your
praise. And, if he gets a big head, God is fully capable of shrinking
it back to size!" ~ from Building Your Mate's Self-Esteem by Doug and Barbara Rainey
Need a boost as a couple?
Incredible Weekend for Your Marriage
FamilyLife, a ministry of Campus Crusade, offers an incredible weekend for engaged and married couples. It’s called A Weekend to Remember. Couples are given the opportunity to have a weekend away at a nice hotel with plenty of time to laugh together, learn about one another and rekindle the romance. The speakers are always real, honest, humorous and challenging. The curriculum for the weekend allows a husband and wife to take a close look at themselves as individuals and as a couple, to see what God would have them do to strengthen the marriage. There is even a mandatory date night for the two of you. Check out their website at: www.familylife.com and click on the Weekend to Remember link to find a conference in your area.
MMCW is pleased to announce our first Bible study taught by Molly
Evert. Proverbs 21: God's Idea of a Godly Woman includes a free study
guide to download to follow along with the podcast. This encouraging
Bible study takes a look at the work, family life, sacrifices, and
rewards of the Proverbs 31 woman. Soul Food.
An Honest
Look at Anger
Do you struggle
with anger? Listen and be encouraged as Molly Evert shares candidly
about her struggles with anger as well as practical methods for gaining
victory through Christ in her newest podcast for MMCW. An Honest Look at Anger.
The Multiple
Personality Mom
As
women we often experience a wide range of emotions on any given day. To
our husbands and children--and even to ourselves--these mood changes
can seem like multiple personalities. You may meet some of your "other
selves" in this encouraging, allegorical podcast. The Multiple Personality Mom.
One Great Read
Stephanie Little Love and Respect, by Dr. Emerson Eggerich, is an excellent resource for any married couple. Based on Ephesians 5:33, Love and Respect
teaches the man how to love his wife and the woman how to respect her
husband as God calls each to do. Dr. Eggerich also defines and explains
the “crazy cycle” in marriage, helping couples to understand how to
communicate better with one another. Many churches offer the companion
Bible study. Check out our gift shop for the book and call your church
to see if they’d consider offering the Love and Respect Bible study.
Focus on the Family is sponsoring many of the Love and Respect Conferences across the nation.
The book Love and Respect (The Love She Most Desires / The Respect He Desperately Needs) won two awards in 2005: the Gold Medallion and Retailers Choice.
The Love & Respect book has been selected as the 2007 Book of the Year for Family Christian Stores."
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs
By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs / Thomas Nelson
Discover the secret that cracks the communication code between husbands and wives and reap the benefits of marriage as God intended. Citing extensive biblical and psychological research, Eggerichs shows that harmony and happiness in relationships is not achieved by love alone, but by building on both parts of the Ephesians 5:33 equation: love and respect.
Molly Evert
This heart rending little book is a beautiful testimony of love and marital fidelity in the worst of times. Roberston McQuilkin shares poignantly about his wife Muriel's battle with Alzheimers. As her condition worsened, she became more agitated when Robertson wasn't around, so he retired from his prestigious job as president of a Bible college in order to care for her full time.
Robertson's love for his wife comes through on every page. He felt that she had given her life to care for him for 40 years, and that it was his privilege to now care for her. It is a story of love in the midst of loss, a story of vows kept and celebrated "till death do us part." This little book only takes about an hour to read, yet it is one of those books that I have thought about over and over for many years. As I read it again recently, the message was just as fresh and touching as before.
A compelling true tale of love and devotion as a husband cares for his ill wife. He shares the story of their struggles and the remarkable lessons they have learned together about God's love
Preparing for the Storm
Stephanie Little
Living
in Florida we face a season of operating in hurricane preparedness
mode. Everyone is instructed to have a Hurricane Kit packed and ready
in a strategic place. Inside the kit, we have flashlights,
battery-powered radios, ready-to-eat foods, water, and plenty of
batteries.
The flashlights are for when the lights go out and
the radio is for information and for the comfort of hearing from those
who can see the whole situation and provide instruction on how to
navigate the storm. The food is for continued nourishment while the
water is for cleansing and drinking. Every time a storm is predicted we
never know if it will be a tropical storm, or worse, a category 1 or 2,
until it actually hits. We also don’t know how long the power will be
out or how much damage will occur. All we know is a storm is coming and
we must prepare for the worst.
Storms in life are about as
unpredictable as nature’s hurricanes. We cannot know how severe they
will be or how much damage will be caused. But, we do know, based on
God’s Word, trials and difficulties will come. We’ve seen the winds of
hurricanes rip the roofs off of buildings and flatten structures to
their foundation. Tragedies in marriage often have the capacity to do
similar damage in the lives of a couple. As tragedy strikes, we may
feel as though the roof has been ripped off and we have been flattened,
all the way to our foundation. What is a married couple to do in
preparation for a tragedy?
God would not have us live in fear,
but He does instruct us to be prepared by first making sure our
foundation is strong in Him. God must be the Solid Rock on which we
build our marriage. If we’re not grounded in Him, no matter how
beautiful the castle of our marriage seems, it’s built on
shifting sand and we all know what happens to sand castles when the
first wave hits. Once our foundation is sure, we can begin to compile
our marriage hurricane kit.
First, we need plenty of
Light. When the storm strikes, there is a darkness that immediately
falls on those in its path. It’s vital to have the Light of God’s Word
hidden in our hearts. Psalm 119:105 says, “Thy Word is a lamp unto my
feet, and a light unto my path.” (KJV) As a couple, we need to memorize
God’s Word together. In the midst of tragedy, it’s immensely helpful to
recall passages of Scripture that will provide direction and comfort.
Next,
we need to be powered and strengthened through prayer. Praying together
allows us as a couple to take our distress straight to the Father; the
One Who is greater than the storm and in control of our future.
Scripture tells us God cares. 1 Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your anxiety
on Him because He cares for you.” (NIV)
We also need to be
nourished by the comforting words and presence of godly friends.
Cultivate those friendships now, before tragedy comes. Make sure you
are also a comforting friend to others who may also face a storm of
their own sometime in the future.
Finally, we need to keep a
“clean slate” before our God and before our spouse. Make sure that the
lines of communication are clear by living an open and honest life with
one another and the Lord. Allow His Holy Spirit to fill you with the
Living Water of the Word. As a couple, spend time in the Psalms reading
the life-giving words to each other. Be assured, storms will come into
every marriage; but as long as the foundation is sure and preparations
have been made, no matter the force of the winds, the structure will
stand strong.
Living On After Loss Stephanie Little
What
does grief look like a decade after tragedy strikes? If you’re my
friends Robin and Valerie, it looks like quiet, peaceful, daily
dependence on God. Ten years ago, they faced the nightmare every parent
fears. Their three-year-old son, Hunter was killed by a head injury
sustained while in the care of a babysitter. Robin and Valerie were
immediately swept up in a flood of horror and the ensuing aftermath of
overwhelming grief.
Many marriages disintegrate in the years
following a child’s death. Robin and Valerie’s marriage has remained
strong. When asked about that, Valerie will tell you it takes faith and
work to endure. Both Robin and Valerie have a personal relationship
with Jesus and they have relied on what God’s Word says about Who He is
and His promise for their future. Valerie clings to the truth found in
the simple verse John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that He gave
His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not
perish, but have everlasting life.” (KJV) She knows God understands her
pain, because He too suffered grief over the death of His Son. She also
finds comfort in Psalm 46:10 which says, “Be still and know that I am
God.”
On this side of Heaven, my friends will never understand
the death of their son, yet they know God continues to use the
experience of their grief as they minister to others walking a similar
path. The most amazing thing to me as I watch my friends is their
capacity to reach out and give to others. Many people close themselves
off in bitterness as they walk in grief. Robin and Valerie have done
the opposite. They give in openness through sharing their experience
and the wisdom they’ve gained from the Lord. But, they also give in
quiet ways, by contributing financially to children’s ministries in
honor of their son. The key is, they work together, depending on God
for strength, peace and even joy in the midst of grief that quietly
remains.
Ways to Manage Grief in Marriage
*
Pray together. Prayer is vital in any marriage; but a marriage facing
grief demands unity in prayer. Begin praying together today so that
when a tragedy strikes you’ll be on familiar holy ground, kneeling
together in prayer.
* Stay together. Turn to one another and to
wise counselors together as a couple. Don’t seek comfort outside your
marriage on your own. Pull in to one another and let the distractions
of the outside world fall away as you minister to the needs of your
husband while accepting the comfort only he can offer to you.
* Get
away together. Sometimes it’s best to take time away from the situation
or circumstances that bring overwhelming grief. A change of scenery may
help to bring a fresh perspective to your outlook. It doesn’t have to
be expensive or elaborate. Just taking a walk outside will help clear
your minds and refocus your thoughts and priorities.
* Say
together. Say the things that are on your heart and mind. Share your
hopes and dreams for a future. Keep the lines of communication open. Be
honest. Get help with the communication process if you feel either of
you are closed off or are shutting down. Visiting a Biblical Christian
counselor is often necessary to healing.
Beloved Christian
Singer and songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman and his amazing wife
MaryBeth have recently experienced unthinkable tragedy in their own
lives with the loss of their daughter Maria in a car accident involving
their teen son, Will Franklin. Since the accident, the family has
shared their grief and their faith in the healing power of Jesus. They
have taken part in interviews on television news and talk shows, in
magazines and with Dr. James Dobson on Focus on the Family. Their daily
walk of grief and faith has been chronicled by Steven’s manager, Jim
Houser on his blog. To read about the example of this incredible family
and to find links to all of their interviews, go to
www.stevencurtischapman.com. Click on Jim Houser’s blog where you’ll
find the links.
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My husband is so thoughtful. He always puts me and the kids before himself. He is very unselfish.
Karen
Stephanie Little
